Feedback on Project Proposal

The main pieces of feedback I was given on my Project Proposal was as follows:

- I need to make sure that my piece actually has an ending and that I know what my ending would be. Otherwise my film would lead to nowhere and there wouldn't e a point to the film.

- I should look into and do some research on the original poem which the fiction adaptation piece will be based on. The original poem was actually written by someone to comfort somebody who was struggling to cope with a loss. My film and its story appeared to deviate too much from this and I should put more of a focus on the person who is trying to cope with the loss of their friend.

- My plans to use words on screen to create more impact from spoken dialogue should be done in a more interesting way instead of just having the words appear and fade out. Should be frantic and have a pace to them.

During the feedback, I also showed my storyboards which can be found during an earlier blog.

I shall take all of these into account and shall think back to this feedback when planning ahead for my piece. I think the main thing I need to get right is the story and its focus. Before, I was giving more focus to the person who was lost rather than the person trying to communicate them and having to cope with their loss. By switching the focus to the person in mourning, I am firstly giving more of a connection to the source material as well as given the characters more depth. I feel I should still include the scene involving how the person had found themselves in such a state but not make it the primary focus. I need to find a balance between the two. 

The ending I originally had planned link heavily with the start of the piece where the lost character would envision their friend standing beside their metaphorical grave. However, this meant that I would then go back to this same scene at the end of the piece and the film would have come full circle and not have gone anywhere in terms of the narrative. I should change this so that there is some sort of resolution. I feel I could change the ending so that something occurs which snaps the character back into reality and the two friends are reunited. This would link to the more hopeful message of the original poem and would give the film a clear ending.