Screenplay Idea Pitch Updated -Andrew Ayres

Feedback from previous pitch:

-How can I build the world/ convince the audience of the world and setting?

-How do I let the audience know that the two characters are spies?
-Are they actually spies?
-Could deceit the audience into thinking that the characters are spies when they actually are not.

-I have a beginning and end; I need to make sure that I have a clear idea of events in the middle of the film.

-Why does the Devon want to kill Baxter?

-Is a forest a secluded enough location?

Title:
Talking to Death

Genre: Thriller

25 Word Pitch:
Thriller where the protagonist comes across and converses with a strange individual, not knowing they will be their killer.

(19 Words)

Characters: Note that all characters are gender neutral for the purposes of this pitch.
Baxter-
Well mannered, dressed in casual clothing. They are seemingly nothing out of the ordinary.

Character arch: Baxter retains their well mannered persona until suspicions start to arise and they eventually turn on their suspected killer and become more vicious.

Devon-
Scruffy, suspicious and slightly insane. Has bad manners and is unable to completely hid the fact that he is out to kill.

Character arch: Believing they have one over on Baxter, Devon becomes cocky and completely gives the game away. After Baxter acts more viciously, Devon's act is dropped and soon become a cowering wimp.

Unknown Character:
A mysterious figure who gives Devon a picture of Baxter, promising to pay a ransom for Baxter's death.

Locations:

Alcove leading into a forest-

Quiet and secluded where no one would be able to see or hear them talk and the eventual threats that would be made.

Dark Room:
Filled only with a table and tow chairs. A secluded room where a secret meeting can take place.


Story:
Baxter walks down a path down a field and eventually into a small alcove leading into a forest. Baxter sees Devon talking to them self and approaches. Devon is caught off guard when Baxter starts to talk to them, becoming nervous for reasons unknown to both Baxter and the audience. The two start to talk as Baxter offers to help Devon, seeing that they are obviously under stress. During this time, Devon is constantly trying to hide something behind their back which  neither Baxter nor the viewer see.

Baxter eventually gives up on trying to help Devon, who starts talking nonsensical and Baxter starts to walk away. At this point, Devon starts to try moving slowly towards Baxter, finally revealing to the audience what Devon had behind their back, a knife.

Cut to a dark room with a table and two chairs with Devon on one side and a mysterious character on the other ( a flashback ). The mysterious character gives Devon piece of paper with a picture not seen by the audience ( it is a picture of Baxter ). Devon ad the mysterious character contemplate terms of payment for a job that the mysterious character proposes. They shake hands.

Cut back to present day and Devon is about to stab Baxter in the back. Baxter hears the crunch of leaves directly behind and turns just in time to miss the knife and swiftly take down Devon. Baxter interrogates Devon by the scruff of a collar and Devon hastily gives Baxter the piece of paper with the picture. The audience see through Baxter's eyes that it is in fact a picture of Baxter. After more interrogation, Baxter reveals a police badge from his pocket and places Devon under arrest.


Moral: What goes around comes around.




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